Sorry I didn't kiss you !

Dear You,

I remember the only time we met .. it was a cold rainy day .. in every sense...

14th of February 2018, Valentine's Day...

Walking in Rosenthalerstrasse in Berlin, my favorite street, with a friend.. trying so hard to not space out, and look inside to all the damage that he left behind .. trying not to ask the question of 'what the hell did I do to my self' .. or worse .. answering it...

Winter is ruthless in Berlin. It creeps inside you .. brings the sadness of a mourning city to shadow its streets .. tells you stories of war and fear .. stripped a city naked .. the ghosts of lost souls surrounded me .. but never became my friends... I was never alone .. but loneliness found a home in my bones .. just like a bad cold... I was always lonely at that time .. in one of the busiest cities of the world .. imprisoned...

In that night .. feeling unseen .. fallen out of memory .. with a heavy heart pulling me under .. the sirens of love deceived me .. stole my anchors.. aimlessly sailing in the Styx .. left the living and never reached the dead .. Charon never accepted my gifts .. never allowed me to rest...

And I remember my surprise when you talked .. you just came .. looked at me .. and smiled...

Just like magic .. with a Spanish accent .. "hello, may I give you this red rose?"

My handsome matador!

shocked " are you sure ?? are you talking to my friend or to me?" I replied! Obviously, a stupid answer...

With a playful smile .. "yes, you! Happy Valentine's day "...

I took the red rose .. and I remember how my cheeks stole its color.. they were burning...

I froze in time... I felt .. seen... I left the underworld... I crossed the boundary!

I was, at that moment, in the rain, but under the sun...

I was saved .. but you were far gone...

 Still very weak to follow you or even take enough look at your face to carve it...

That this was my first ever valentine gift .. imagine!

And I smiled .. like a tired soldier saved from his nightmares...

I recall this rose every time I am embraced with sunshine,

I imagine that I followed you .. dropping my umbrella, ignoring raindrops .. tapped on your shoulder .. gave you a kiss on your cheek, and ran away...

I'm forever in your debt... if we ever meet again... I owe you a kiss .. and a ray of light...

Love,

Me!

PS. get me a yellow rose next time... I like yellow!